Guilt-Less

The past several hours I have been battling guilt and shame for my anonymous hook up the other day. There are times where I tell myself to not be ashamed about what I have done because it was a legitimate need that was satisfied in an illegitimate way. Then there are other times where I am ashamed about what I did and the desire to continue to be ashamed about my hook up starts to cause me to spiral into wanting to masturbate, look at pornography, going to Craigslist, and ultimately hooking up.

My struggle right now is to not self-condemn myself, to hold onto the positives that are happening right now, and slow myself down from the constant 'doing' of life. It's tough and difficult right now, but I'm doing my best. I'm putting one foot in front of the other.

What has helped me the most today was talking about this struggle with one of my best friends, Chavez. Just having someone there who listens, accepts me for who I am, and doesn't judge me has been helping me to move on.

I don't know what to do right now. If someone is reading this, what would you do if you were in my situation?